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What caught my attention
Even before we pressed record and Michael began the ‘formal’ part of the conversation, my experience of Rabia saw me struck by both her presence and humility. There have been numerous occasions where I have been around people who ‘fill the room’ but who, for me, accompany this with a certain level of pretentiousness. Likewise, there have been truly servant-hearted people I have encountered who remain ‘unseen’ because of their possible hesitation or timidity.
Rabia is no such person. What becomes more and more apparent as the interview rolls on is that Rabia, in many ways, ‘lights the room’ while holding in balance a sense of strength, vulnerability, control and humility.
Now, let’s face it. Humility can’t be faked. It is the result of a steadfast commitment to face with honesty one’s giftedness and their shadow; holding both with self-compassion and a dedication to loving and living more fully. Rabia’s commitment to being a self-observer, for the sake of love and living, permeates this conversation.
In the hour that Michael and Rabia spoke, there were two things that struck me as significant:
Leadership requires us to hold uncomfortable and opposing realities in tension
Throughout her rich and varied vocational experiences, Rabia describes having seen first hand the best and the worst of humanity. Holding these types of opposing realities in tension is difficult. For anyone, sitting with paradox can be challenging and perturbing. In Rabia’s case, it is an essential for good leadership.
As I listened to Rabia, it caused me to consider the ways in which I, in my leadership, have tried to dismiss one ‘good’ on account of another ‘bad’ - because either the glass is half full or it’s half empty, right? Or there are those moments where I cannot stomach even hearing another view because it is too far away from my own – so I switch off or shut it down.
Too often, the leadership we experience (or perhaps offer) is fiercely polarising or binary in thought. But life is both tragic and beautiful, broken and medicinal - and frequently these may be but a hairs breadth or silent whisper from each other. It is the mature leader who can hold and navigate such polarity without caving to the compulsion to mute one of the important voices present at the table so as to somehow validate the other. This leadership maturity is something that weaves its way through Rabia’s storytelling and in particular her first recounting of being invited to offer her unique leadership in the context of The Royal Commission of Inquiry into the Terrorist Attack on Christchurch Mosques.
So where is there beauty in these ashes, where could there possibly be good in the midst of this sorrow?
What does it mean for me to hold and handle the stories of others?
Among other things, Rabia describes herself as a storyteller. In fact, storytelling is the weaving theme throughout Rabia’s leadership journey. She is the teller of her own and other people’s stories so as to effect change in the world.
Within this dominant theme, there was a recurring motif in what Rabia shared that I would describe as humility but that she expressed as gift, privilege, honour and grace. For Rabia, she has been entrusted to handle and hold the stories of others - stories that deeply matter to their author. This handling and holding of story is furthermore inextricably linked to servanthood. Repeatedly, there are questions that quietly wind their way through the interview: How can I serve right now? What does it mean for me to be of service to this person who is telling me their story or in this situation in which I find myself?
This got me thinking…
We are storytelling people. We live in story and we love a good yarn.
As a leader, how do I care for the stories that others tell - even if I don’t share their assessment? How might I treat the concerns of others, as revealed in the story they are telling me, with dignity? How do I serve them, in this moment, leaving them feeling listened to, cared for, and perhaps even lead them to a place where they see new possibilities or ways of being?
The final thought
As you listen to this rich interview, that in many ways typifies a coaching conversation, I hope you experience a stirring of head and heart that moves you further along your own leadership journey - especially when it comes to showing up with authenticity, vulnerability and authority.
